so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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