You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
