I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
