He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
