just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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