She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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