bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The feeling are messing with the penis
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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