well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
