I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
