lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
