If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
