Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
