i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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