well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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