I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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