it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
