Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
