I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
