White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
