I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
