i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
