her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
