he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
