i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
