Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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