She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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