i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Help. Why am I so naked?
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