You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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