he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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