SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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