420 ftw
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The air was thick with penises
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
