Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
