idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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