Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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