If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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