fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
