before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
