I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Randomize
