Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
