im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
did i just pee glitter
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
