ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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