What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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