Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
