worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
