Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
