i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
