its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you didnt know i had herpes?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
