Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
