i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
