A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
