did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
