Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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