I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
